...It still interests me, to flip through the pages of your diary in your absence. I slyly open it with sheer curiosity,just as i would do when we were togehter (metaphorically togehter)...but this time, to find myself absent from the pages of your life. I am fading out of your world and how strange and ironical it is that you don't even realise this,that your thoughts do not even acknowledge my last days in your life....that my going away makes no impact anywhere deep down in your heart. There is so much more...... I feel the void between us. Things have changed drastically.. Its all about your friends...new...more new....and some nascent ones again. I read quietly...absorbing it. Maybe thats how life is...the more you care about somebody,the closer you are to lose him.
They say that stagnation fills the air of a long lived relationship and staying together ruins it all the more. The face of the other gets on your nerves...you no more try to find goodness in him, all his vices roar the loudest to be hated.you love the other no more..... Maybe a cliched thought, an untrue word, a baseless fact...the world finds it true but i absolutely throw it away...its untrue...FOR ME ITS JUST NOT THAT WAYS!
I am made too se the dismantling of a dream that I cherished. I sit there...watch it breaking...vanishing...dying....i cry over it each day...i plead to the good God...i sit alone...cry out my heart...and then in this silent room console my own self...But the pyre of this relation just keeps burning and simmering ruins burn every bit of my existence.But for once i want that faith of yours which was my pride, i care...i care to the fullest, only if you for once try to deflect from that murky perspective of yours and see what the truth is. We have less time...we were here to strenthen our bond and not ruin it at the hands of this world unknown. The world will not suffer if we diverge... we'll die out...we'll pain ourselves...we'll lose. I wish you could understand.
And as i drown myself in the depth of our long forgotten past, a memento of the bygone days intervenes and i hear a faded euphony which as if tries to kindle hopes within my barren heart...."....tere jaisa yaar kahan...kahaan aisa yaarana...yaad karegi duniya....tera mera afsaanaa............"
